Oddly enough, but many people have different phobias communication - someone is afraid of public speaking, someone shy in front of the opposite sex, someone breaking into a cold clammy then the thought that today will be talking with the head ... So, if you want to succeed in a relationship, you have to part with their fears. How to do it? Easy! NLP can help you. Practice and anchors a positive. Sign a dog - it will teach you communication and accountability. Give yourself an anchor after a successful phone calls, bright love goodbye, after the approval and praise of the Chief in his address ... to anchor themselves to succeed in communicating, and when you will be disturbing the meeting, include your successful anchor.

Normally, a person must move freely in all three positions of perception: to put forward their demands and defend the beliefs from the first position to compromise on the second, to analyze the consequences - of the third. But this ideal. More common "sticking" in one position. And it entails certain problems. "Jam" in the first position facing you exaggerated egocentrism, the inability of compassion, empathy, inability to look at ourselves. The man is stuck in the second position is for life not a star, and the victim. He strives to live the life which he imposed his authority for the people - parents, friends, spouse, children ... He does not use "I" is constantly concerned about one thing: "What people say about me?", "A decided whether to do so? "... Often the mother" merge "with your child:" Doctor, we have written in bed, "" We have had nine years, "We finished the third grade." Often these are people subjected to violence, resulting separated from his body.

A child growing up and continuing to remain in second position, becomes the same as his father: "They beat me - nothing, not dead, and I'm going to beat their children - bitie determines consciousness." And at the same time, this position is very important to understand the other person, be able to sympathize. The observer is cut off from their feelings from your body. Such people often become addicted, just to get through to their own feelings. Dependence may be different - from nicotine to heroin. Nevertheless, the position of the observer is very useful:

, To exit from the stress;

, To obtain complete information in the work;

-In business during the negotiations;

-For its own rapid analysis.

Learn to move freely on the positions of perception.

"Stepping diving"

For training, select any conflict situation, which involved more than yourself and other people. Put three chairs in the room. Decide where you will be - the first position, your opponent - the second, the camera - the third. Sit on "his" chair and describe your situation, "his" eyes, using only the pronoun "I": "I feel," "I see and know", "It hurts." Now sit on the chair of your opponent, feel it, tell us about his problems, fears and resentments in a given situation, what he thinks (even if it is not right, but you stay honest and clean the experiment did not get out of second position).

Navigate to the third position and impartially tell me what you see. Just the facts, without emotion. Do not eat the words: "It hurts - you may not know this, being a camera! Say: "His facial features distorted, his fists clenched" ... Maybe it's not the pain and anger? Do not let the ratings - you - the camera! From the third position again return to the first two, make sure what has changed, then quit again in the third and give sensible advice currently in first position. And do not forget: Down with fear!