One of the first skills that seizes a man, barely born, - the ability to ask for help. First, we make it through screaming, crying, pohnykivaniya. In this period of his life, we still do not distinguish between requests and demands. Later, my mother taught us to ask for help, more or less politely. Initially, we ask everything: give candy, tie shoelaces, to read a fairy tale. Do ask for help? " Yes, it's normal and natural. Experts even advise parents to encourage a child's desire to make a request (for example, a request to put him on the pot). Otherwise, how can a child master the skills of occupational and speech? Later, seeking to become independent, we ask not to do something for us or for us, and teach it to do. The more a child is prone to self-reliance and self-development, the more it appeals to adults with such requests. Ask school teachers of the students who often comes to him with questions after the lesson, asks for more time to explain what it is not clear? Slowpoke? Lagging? No, usually it's best pupils. They want a dialogue with the teacher the maximum benefit.

In adolescence the child may suddenly withdraw into themselves. He stops to ask for adult assistance. Movie draws to him the image of a Superman who does everything just by himself. In the company of teenage boys talk about their successes and rarely shared problems. As you may recall, the development of addictive behavior begins with a block of your own feelings, in fact, with the cessation of open requests for assistance. Let's see how this is happening in the family in the process of growing children. Parents at the birth of the child's own experiences have minimal education and assistance to the child in solving problems arising from it. Their fear, they are often hidden from outsiders, fear seem incompetent. When disaster strikes, instead of "knocking on all doors and ask for help to specialists, they closed with his family and try not to wash dirty linen in public. Parents express their helplessness in the form of charges such as: "Sam is to blame, right you got!" However, parents often blame themselves or each other, but it's easier from that nobody gets.

After the problem became obvious (the child admitted that he was a drug addict, or that he smokes and can not throw the child on his own negligence hit by a car, or has dropped dramatically eyesight due to constant communication with the computer) the parents do not find anything better than the urge to help his ability to reason. Created another well-argued, but unviable scheme under which the child must live henceforth: "the road should go only to the underpass (as if it is always possible)," no contact with Peter, he treats it all with cigarettes "(and make friends with anyone instead of Petit?), "more up close and do not go to the computer (and what to do with your spare time?) and much more. Of course, parental tyranny with which they want to "save the child" as every tyranny ever be overthrown. The child will be carefully concealed from the father and mother their problems. In addition, he received a wonderful lesson in how dangerous it is to ask for help. It is unlikely that your child will want to once again seek the help and support to someone from the adults. So proud parents of a child generates pride.

And what not to build a child's internal prohibition to be frank with the parents? First and foremost, by acknowledging their lack of expertise and seek help from professionals. Remember that seeking help is not shameful. It's a shame "blow" the problem because of the patient's own ego. Special period, when it is very important to follow the rules of the Gospel "knock and you open up, ask and you will be given" due in a person's life when he becomes addicted to illness or other life problems.