Diffidence

A phone call came unexpectedly sharply just in the middle of the next series "The X-Files" (it was about some vile green creatures, obviously alien origin, which wrapped ... b-rr-rr ... people in cocoons) . Called school friend Olya: "I've long you did not call. I divorced my husband." My oohs, ahs and various sympathetic exhortations led to the appointment, and we saw each other Olay next day.

Classmate looked wonderful: smooth face, blue eyes, delicate feminine look kustodievskoy beauty - natural blonde. But in the eyes of standing - not even exist separately sadness and hopelessness pozhivshey women. General "old woman" attitude emphasized Turkish shapeless sweater with ridiculous colors. Olga spoke slowly, my jokes laughed very quietly, as if trying not to stand out awkwardly covered hands plump figure after childbirth.

Worldly story that told me Olya was pretty ordinary, if not commonplace, - her husband left for a younger woman, leaving her daughter Olga. Courageous Olga found a job, more or less arranged her life, but the woman ... out of it just went away. Remembering my, from her point of view, worldly wise advice, Olga decided that maybe I could help her get out of the moral pit into which she fell.

Until then none of my many female friends had not been in a similar situation, but the appearance of Olin, was suddenly in doubt, in its appeal - it all seemed vaguely familiar. Olga struck by the disease of many of our contemporaries: " self-doubt . " Causes of uncertainty may be very different: a sudden deterioration in financial condition, adverse changes in appearance, leaving a loved one but the signs all the same - the persistent, exhausting soul depression, with no desire to live. "

As again in myself to believe?

So where do I start? Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Divide the page into two parts by a vertical bar. Right column Caption: My pros. The left column let is called: "My cons. And begin to fill. In the unconditional pros we ship: sociability, kindness, ability to cook (possible options: to drive, bring up children), slender legs (possible options: a beautiful chest, waist, rounded hips, smooth skin, beautiful hair, etc. ), the "cons" - send all that we do not like in yourself. We try to be as polite to herself, describes herself in love, gently and carefully. More likely that the pros you will be much greater than "cons".

How could regain a sense of fullness of life, a thirst for life, eye-shine? How can one learn not to depend on everyday circumstances? Now, and earlier, around the world write many books on these subjects, and they are all well bought up. This means that you are not alone - many of the human race suffers from a lack of confidence. Because of this, people did not arrange her personal life, do not get a career, people are going through, and because of the suffering of their appearance (especially women), and all locked in a heavy round of which seem to be, and no exit.

No way! Collect all the spiritual and physical strength and begin to live a new life. Rearrange the furniture in the apartment, buy new clothes, treat yourself to a delicious meal, go to the girlfriend. Remember: your life - this is your greatest wealth. Little money - happens in nature, move, read, play games and so on. Should not delay the best at the time when you get married. Enjoy your freedom and independence, the opportunity to come home whenever you want to sit on any diet, exercise, attend club ikebana, macrame, beauty salon and so on. Do you think we can find little entertainment, if we desire?

Are you facing the loneliness?

There is a category of people who are alone with yourself is not boring. They are able to walk alone, to oblivion to get involved in some craft or any other occupation. And you need a company, in order not to feel miserable and all off? Let's find out ... So?

1. Can you go after work to wander around the city alone?

2. Do you think a disaster if you have no one to go on vacation?

3. You meet with a friend in 2 hours. Can you occupy yourself at this time?

4. You like to watch the flame the fire?

5. You are busy with something very important. At such times you annoy phone calls?

6. You like to walk?

7. You can celebrate New Year's Eve alone, and stay at the same time in a good mood?

8. For his birthday you invite a lot of friends?

9. Do you feel completely free, being in the company of four strangers?

10. You find yourself in a strange city and you can not find the one you need the street, how do you do?

a) ask a passer-by;

b) Refer to the map of the city;

c) try to find yourself.

11. You love to make gifts?

12. Do you dream of becoming an actress?

So, 1 point, you can deduct for the answers "yes" to questions 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10b, 12;

for answering "no" to questions 2, 8, 9, 10a, 11, and 2 points for answering "yes" to question 10c.

Do you have more than 8 points: Of course, you are prone to loneliness. Like to think, analyze different situations, just to dream or posozertsat. Keep in mind, so you can stay an old maid:

From 4 to 8 points: You are moderately gregarious, but from time to time you will need to be alone, to bring thoughts into order. But enough of you to spend a few hours alone - and you can be happy to communicate with people. That's fine!

Less than 4 points: You are a man very sociable, and loneliness you are not threatened. It seems that you do not always like to think about their actions. Please note, a couple of hours spent alone, often saves you from many mistakes.

If the test results you (and sometimes is) scored more than eight points, then, firstly, there is no one ideal, and absolutely true test, and secondly, make sure that does not follow you here these eight statements, and try to continue to do just the opposite.

1. Be fully confident that you life is destined to be one. Pessimism, mastered by you, will make his case and inevitably lead to a defeatist attitude, which, like your kind of dull, rest assured, will scare any man.

2. Give orders his personal life and free time as of this writing in the novels of the old maid: sitting with a friend, walking with her niece, dinner in front of TV screens, general cleaning of the output and so on.

3. Pains to be "keeper of the secrets" of all his acquaintances, everybody helps, tips, and "protect" marriage for her friends.

4. Sign a friend of mine (possibly more attractive than you), in all her trust and spend all her free time.

5. Log into the role of the Amazons, which is proud and happy to be alone and do not forget to emphasize it at every opportunity.

6. Avoid beauty salons and barbershops, allow yourself to all sorts of sweets and in any case do not buy the update, because you have to still nobody noticed.

7. In a society behave as independent an intellectual as well as men can be as arrogant and any attempt to flirt with indignation rejected as something immoral and indecent.

8. Live in the happy belief that there is a "perfect man" who is just waiting for you. Would not retreat from their ideals about the nature, appearance, and financial capabilities of the expected "Prince."

And yet, as you would any hard, do not ask for help to sorcerers or psychics. Worse, perhaps, will be, but better is unlikely. Much safer and more noble to do on their own.