I have a few signs of dependence. The main thing that is inaccessible to someone who does not love, but it depends - is self-love. It is prohibited parental authority. Such people have long learned that it is inappropriate in its coordinate system of life. And what is love for yourself?

• a recognition of their value, relevance in this world;

• This is not to be questioned faith in their human rights;

• a deep belief that everyone should love themselves. If I love myself, I know that and the other loves himself, and I respect his rights, just as I respect theirs. If I do not like myself, then I do not recognize the right of another to love yourself and do not respect the right of another, just as I do not respect her.

Dependent love looks like. Because the real man himself does not like and refuses to another in the same law, he is looking for evidence to arrogate to itself the right to love. He strives to various achievements, thinking that the achievements he can get right to love. When he reaches his goals, he makes everyone his achievements: "I have reached! Respect me and love me! Give me everything I need and sacrifice themselves for the sake of it! "So, who does not love a man forced all the time to show itself to others in order to win her right to love. He does it, of course, is not interested in the needs of others, and using the other to prove their coolness. However, the achievement does not change anything in his life - he still feels the emptiness and the need for success. Again, we can observe the manifestation of dislike for themselves: in the form of endless sporting achievements, or career, or sex wins, etc. Labor relationship and sex addiction.

The man who does not love himself, does not like his body - the source of sensations and feelings. And then he does not love life. Love of life is possible only when there is love for yourself. Then the body is perceived as a source of joy, experiences, opportunities to explore the world. But life - as something that makes it all feel. Loving life as a man does not need to achieve, but it brings the joy of curiosity research in unknown areas. Loving life as a man does not seek to convert others or nature, but it gets the joy of growth and change, and what it can contribute to this.

Everything is different when a person does not love life. Because he does not like her body because of the humiliation and pain of violence, the body for him - a source of pain and suffering. And life - a source of situations in which people suffer. He tries to meet the expectations of others for one purpose: "If I finally be what I want to see me cease to humiliate and beat him, and then maybe I'll see the joy of life." Thus, he continues to disfigure themselves: podpilivaya from all sides for the sake of fun and convenience of others. And immerses himself in the pain and suffering. It's a vicious circle in which revolves a man, all the time depending on the approval.

A person who does not know how to love, is not available and sexual love. It does not get pleasure from sex itself and does not give him a partner. Sexual love is possible when a man loves his body and the body of a partner as they are created, without criticism and the desire to improve. It is impossible to love in sex, if you are unhappy with your body. In this regard, no love, no pleasures proximity, and there is constant fear that "my body is unworthy of love." Fearing this, you can not love a partner, because: a) you just once, you are engaged in self-criticism, and b) you are waiting and are afraid of his critics, and most internally treat him with hostility, expecting an attack. Where there really love to put down roots!

The man who does not love his body, inattentive to him. He does not notice what it needs: it can have more than you need (bulimia), to work more than you need (trudogoliya), torturing himself. He is unable to care for themselves and forcing others to do so. It imposes responsibility for other functions of the body, the decision how to do it. And then he condemns himself to criticism, and again a vicious circle:

"Others do not like me, so I do not what to love, and I do not love yourself, too." Such a person always needs to be evaluated by other of their sexuality. In order not to meet with close attention to his person, he prefers the quick and short contacts: sex for one or three. But since it is nevertheless in need of love, then forced again and again to seek new partners to join with them again in a short contact, running away, worrying that it will not accept, love and hungry again seek short meetings. Here is another kind of sex addiction.

Person who can not love yourself, not capable of loving parents. True love of children to parents expressed admiration for them as individuals, in gratitude for having given him life. Alas, in many families children are not happy nor life, nor myself. And they are simply not much to thank their parents. Yes, and often have nothing to admire. "My life has failed, do not live as I do, but listen to me" - say the parents. Extremely self-contradictory statement. Children admire their parents are not related to their achievements, but because of their wisdom. But the wisdom - this is not a consequence of age, but a consequence of the quality of life. The ability to love life and myself, people and nature, to appreciate every moment and find all the meaning and perfection - that it makes a person wise.

Dependent love for the child to his parents is manifested in a forced resignation. Because such a child does not love himself and finds himself guilty of misery parents, his "love" to his parents, getting to the Executive and devotion, in fact, full of anger, guilt, protest, and feelings of worthlessness and uselessness. Such a man is trapped between two fires: if, God forbid, will show their protest, his parents would "suffer" or to accuse him. And it's scary and painful. If he will not tolerate, it remains a lifelong slave to his parents. But, and having lost his parents, he is not relieved, rather the opposite: to be blaming himself for what little bent in half, and also suffer from the meaninglessness of his life, because the whole meaning of his existence was under his parents and their needs.