Hello! Often heard about a crisis in marriage, but never thought we would encounter such problems itself. Seven years of happy marriage passed in a jiffy. We have always lived together, loved and respected each other. Surpassing the threshold of a seven-year life together with us, something happened. We were quarrels over trifles and pester each other with mutual reproaches. Past understanding, as usual. We even wanted to pass one another and to live a bit apart, but in time changed his mind. I know my husband still loves, as indeed, I did. But to resume the old relationship is not obtained, all attempts to reduce to more conflicts and quarrels. What happened to our love? How to upgrade relations and to save the marriage? Svetlana, Moscow

Our consultant - Irina Vishnevskaya, a psychologist:

Hello Dear Svetlana! Psychologists have indeed been identified some years, when marriage becomes particularly vulnerable. These years are called crises. Such catastrophic periods occur, not all married couples. This problem exists in most of these families, where the painful subject began moving into the far bin, so as not to spoil the mood of each other. But escape from the problems leaves you in a timely fashion to solve. Accumulated grievances and omissions in a "perfect" day translate into the flow of terrible accusations and insults.

Different views on life, the structure of family relationships, the difference in the upbringing eventually come to the fore, and we start to think that our object of adoration is not perfect.

You write that you want to pass one another and to live separately, but changed their minds. You did absolutely right, the long separation, in most cases destroys rather than builds the shaky relationship. Strike while the iron is hot, find an apple of discord and get rid of it immediately.

Understand, because quarrels occur not only when you are disliked, what - that person. Often quarrel just love people, wanting to defend their point of view and to convey its second half, his opinion. As soon as there is a problem, do not hide under the covers and pretend that all is well. After all, the sooner we note discord in the relationship, the easier it will be removed. Much worse, if one partner is always and everywhere agree with her half. This means that it is completely indifferent to everything happening around, and he does not want to let you into his inner world. It is these relationships quickly disintegrate. But the argument is kind of indicator relationships, quarrel, so not all is normal in your family life, you need to take urgent and effective measures to rescue your love. Drop everything and try to find out all the issues that concern you, listen to, perhaps, pay attention to each other. Tell your partner as he is dear to you and you are happy with it.

That is, conscious love is the key to a happy marriage. You lived in a marriage for seven years, and it is quite a lot. You feel fine mood swings, you know all the weaknesses of her husband, support him when he is sad and Away from Home Affairs, when he wants to share with you my joy. In your relationships, Svetlana, has come, the moment is to review the behavior and come to a compromise if you are still roads to each other. Do not be discouraged, be tolerant and wise, and you will succeed.