They say the eyes - a mirror of the soul. And let these words from today will not be for you to ring hollow. Eyes - indeed the mirror, which shows both the inner world and to the outside. When you're lying, your eyes will rush right up - there is a region of visual design, where we draw out their fantasies, dreams, fairy tales, fables, invented to justify our actions. When you are telling the truth, everything as it was in fact his eyes again, rush up, but left - there are stored images of visual memories. When you evaluate a person, his words, actions, proposals made by you, your eyes go left down. In traveling to the right, go down your eyes when someone has a nice, attractive gently touches your hands, and if you want dofantazirovat anything that might happen next, your eyes again cock right, up - in the region perspective and imagination.

The same thing happens with the eyes of your interlocutor. One has only to observe, and you'll notice that the eyes never stand still, they repeatedly make the micromotion and control these micromotion eye is almost impossible, but the technique of monitoring the oculomotor pattern is very effective. For example, if during a call buddy's eyes went to the left, down, then maybe he does not listen, and immersed in an internal dialogue, to solve some important problems for yourself, and you just nods his head. So often do officials, taking visitors, husbands, with half an ear listening to his wife, a ratchet, parents, communicating with children ... unfocussed eyes on the center say that the person is going through the internal visuals.

In addition to the general laws of oculomotor strategies, there are nuances. For example, the visuals look up or to the center, most often their sight is out of focus. Audialy keep your eyes in the middle of the object, object, picture of the situation ... Kinestetiki who stand firmly on his feet, looking down often. So, before you in all its glory access keys to consciousness and subconsciousness of your counterpart.

Calibration

Calibrated in terms of NLP means to keep abreast, to closely monitor the situation, watch the counterpart by setting up their own locators VAK. In the beginning it seems that it's awful hard to simultaneously see, hear and feel. But, constantly coaching this skill, you will notice how much bigger, full and harmonious will become your life. So, calibrate, and adapts ...!

Rapport

What is it? In the terminology of NLP rapport means rhythmic relevant partners at the level of conduct and internal (psychosomatic) health. We always have to choose: to be master or slave. But one without the other does not exist. And in order to become a leading, you must first pretend to be driven, at least for a little bit ... There is nothing surprising, just like us who like our own. With such people is easier to get along, and thus communicate more constructively. In turn, we also like it to these people - for the same reason, uncomplicated. Thus, a good rapport involves matching, tuning. Those who are in rapport tend to behave similarly.

The basis of normal communication are the skills that at first glance seem to be innate - the ability to be on the same wavelength, to anticipate desires and thoughts of the interlocutor. You can find examples of this in a trade, contracting, consulting and other areas of interpersonal communication. People often say: "Sociability either there or not. And there is nothing there not be helped. " Believe me, you learn everything, and really learn to communicate effectively - both useful and pleasant time. Initially, the development of these skills may seem like hard work, requiring great concentration, but as they say NLP-ers, unconscious competence in any field (eg, ability to drive a car) always comes with experience.

Understanding what happens when you install rapport will allow you to choose the most flexible and adequate behavior. You will be able to enter into the fellowship of their choice, and not just rely on the unconscious abilities. Learning driving car, you deliberately keeps out the wrong skills, and develop correct. The same should occur during the development of communication skills. Going into rapport with a man, catching him on the hook, you can gradually bring it to its wave to subject you're interested, hypnotize communication and to achieve this goal.

Ability to establish rapport bring you a favor, not only in interpersonal relationships or professional activities. It may have a beneficial impact on the goals you have, especially if they are related to communication. For example, an active training rapport with the bride's side, for sure, will accelerate planned for the indefinite future wedding and make it realistic and achievable project. After all, the groom will always feel that his future wife understands that it has something to relatives, as if looking in a mirror ... There also repeats effectively used by all successful professionals in sales, teachers - in training managers - in the management . The whole secret lies in the tuning. You can set a rapport, seeking adjustment on several parameters.

Physiological adjustment

If we like a man, we unconsciously repeat his gestures, movements, and posture. Now, knowing the secret to success in communication, do it consciously. Importantly, otzerkalivaya not ape! If a man put his right foot on the left, you can do the opposite, or cross your arms. If your counterpart shakes leg, go with him to the rhythm, shake your hand or gently gesticulating. If you smile - smiles back! Disarming smile. Came into contact? Now try to change the posture. Notice how your counterparts also did not remain in place, stirred ... All you have it on a hook. Now you are the master area, you can keep it for themselves, and can break rapport by adopting an awkward, unexpected for a buddy pose. Aerobatics - Corrects for micromotion - oculomotor reactions in the respiratory rhythm. Tune to a sleeping snorer on the rhythm of breathing, can lead him away and a couple of minutes to reduce snoring, but with time and did it to stop.

Auditory tuning

When a person hears a voice like his, he relaxes, subconsciously trusted companion. If you speak slowly, do not often find themselves, feel the weight of each word. Catch the timbre and tune in on one wave, add a husky. Do not hesitate to repeat the usual ear buddy idioms and expressions. He did not think that you have a poor vocabulary, he thinks that you are similar in looks. A more subtle level adjustment - adjustment of morphemes, the ability to encode his speech, repeating a conversationalist is not words and thoughts, but only parts of words - roots, prefixes, suffixes ... If a man loves caressing diminutive suffixes, uses the word "pen", "legs" ... Do not be confused with such a companion to say "money". You only affect the delicate strings of his soul.

The Value adjustment

Speak with someone about it - that's the secret of successful communication. Speak sincere interest, and it will take you to the best conversationalist in the world, even if you do not tell us about yourself, and in general would be very silent. Well, if you are still acts of intelligence and awareness of an important interlocutor for the sector, say, a professional, he just melts under the magic of your charm. Divide the person's beliefs, at least temporarily - the only way to then impose their own. Adjustment of conviction - is the aerobatics! You certainly have beliefs. Do you even have beliefs about the beliefs of others. But there is much more simple and sure way to find out convictions of a man who you are interested, he needs to ask the question "why?". And the answer you always hear the conviction of man. About who he is, what happens in the world and what does not happen, what is good or bad, right or wrong, possible or impossible, and much more.