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hi im kelly i can help you with marriage problems and divorse. look down my page and if you think i can help get in touch.
Qualifications and Degrees
i have masters degree phcycology i have been helping people and guiding over 10years
i have masters degree phcycology i have been helping people and guiding over 10years
My Expert Service
Be honest, which of these strategies are you trying right now? 1. Do you give your partner reassurance? “I will change, I promise. I promise not to be controlling anymore. I promise not to lie to you anymore. I promise not to have another affair,” and on it goes. The struggle to give them reassurance almost never works! 2. Do you tell them over and over again, “I love you?” That definitely never works! 3. Do you argue, trying to reason, being logical, trying to talk your partner into feeling different or acting different towards you? That also never works! Always agree. It's real simple! Always agree! If you talk about where your partner is wrong, they move towards being more wrong. And if you talk about where your partner being right, they will move towards becoming less wrong. Really! If you agree and sound sincere to the other person, do not defend yourself, do not explain yourself, they will defend you. They will slowly reverse their position. Amazing? It's True! Your partner says, “I want a divorce.” You say, “Yes I understand. I agree.” It seems to your partner like you're moving faster toward a divorce, but instead you are getting at the roots of why your partner wants a divorce. Your partner wants a divorce because you're always disagreeing with them! Duhh! Your partner does not want a divorce from somebody who's always pleasant and is always understanding their side and always agreeing with them. That's not the person your partner is pulling away from. They are pulling away from the person who disagrees with them. People do not want to be married to somebody who is holding a gun on them. “You owe me love because we're married. You've got to love me because we're married.” No way! You have got to get away from the hostility before your partners good feelings can show. And their hostility may seem to you like it's totally independent of anything that you do. Not so! You are supporting your partners negative frame of mind by your attitude of needing and pressuring and whining and complaining, and trying to argue always for your way. Simply, enthusiastically, see it your partners way. Act as if you are happy to do whatever your partner wants. Guess what? That knocks the wind totally out from their hostility. Your partner will be shocked! You are acting in control now. Instead, when you say, “You're the only one that I can love, you're the only one that I can be happy with, you're the only one for me,” you're really saying, “I'm a nobody, I'm worthless, I can't really see that the world is full of beautiful women or good looking men. I can't see that. I don't have any confidence at all. Don't you want me?” No, they don't. “I have no self-esteem, no nothing. Don't you want me?” And the answer is always, no! 4. Pessimism. We all become addicted to our pessimism. I once had a male client say to me, “I know I wont win. You don't know my wife. She's very hard headed, very stubborn. She wont change her mind." I say, “Never say never"! I said, “Well, I think it's about something this important is precisely what she has changed her mind about. She originally said she was going to stay with you and love you forever. And now, she can't stand you. So obviously, she's changed her mind. So obviously, she does change her mind.” But people fall in love with pessimism. That's one of the strategies that never works...but people always try them!
Be honest, which of these strategies are you trying right now? 1. Do you give your partner reassurance? “I will change, I promise. I promise not to be controlling anymore. I promise not to lie to you anymore. I promise not to have another affair,” and on it goes. The struggle to give them reassurance almost never works! 2. Do you tell them over and over again, “I love you?” That definitely never works! 3. Do you argue, trying to reason, being logical, trying to talk your partner into feeling different or acting different towards you? That also never works! Always agree. It's real simple! Always agree! If you talk about where your partner is wrong, they move towards being more wrong. And if you talk about where your partner being right, they will move towards becoming less wrong. Really! If you agree and sound sincere to the other person, do not defend yourself, do not explain yourself, they will defend you. They will slowly reverse their position. Amazing? It's True! Your partner says, “I want a divorce.” You say, “Yes I understand. I agree.” It seems to your partner like you're moving faster toward a divorce, but instead you are getting at the roots of why your partner wants a divorce. Your partner wants a divorce because you're always disagreeing with them! Duhh! Your partner does not want a divorce from somebody who's always pleasant and is always understanding their side and always agreeing with them. That's not the person your partner is pulling away from. They are pulling away from the person who disagrees with them. People do not want to be married to somebody who is holding a gun on them. “You owe me love because we're married. You've got to love me because we're married.” No way! You have got to get away from the hostility before your partners good feelings can show. And their hostility may seem to you like it's totally independent of anything that you do. Not so! You are supporting your partners negative frame of mind by your attitude of needing and pressuring and whining and complaining, and trying to argue always for your way. Simply, enthusiastically, see it your partners way. Act as if you are happy to do whatever your partner wants. Guess what? That knocks the wind totally out from their hostility. Your partner will be shocked! You are acting in control now. Instead, when you say, “You're the only one that I can love, you're the only one that I can be happy with, you're the only one for me,” you're really saying, “I'm a nobody, I'm worthless, I can't really see that the world is full of beautiful women or good looking men. I can't see that. I don't have any confidence at all. Don't you want me?” No, they don't. “I have no self-esteem, no nothing. Don't you want me?” And the answer is always, no! 4. Pessimism. We all become addicted to our pessimism. I once had a male client say to me, “I know I wont win. You don't know my wife. She's very hard headed, very stubborn. She wont change her mind." I say, “Never say never"! I said, “Well, I think it's about something this important is precisely what she has changed her mind about. She originally said she was going to stay with you and love you forever. And now, she can't stand you. So obviously, she's changed her mind. So obviously, she does change her mind.” But people fall in love with pessimism. That's one of the strategies that never works...but people always try them!
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